Star Wars: Droids Review, Episode 9

Where to begin? The plotline of this episode isn't terrible. Someone is collecting exotic species from around the galaxy to put on display for the amusement of rich people. That seems like a perfectly cromulent storyline to explore on a show like this, but things start to unwind quickly. Remember Lord Toda from last week? Now we get properly introduced to his son Coby. And he's the worst. He's like little kid Anakin and Jar Jar Binks were combined as a rich brat. Jann Tosh and Thall Joben weren't exactly compelling characters, but at least they were tolerable. With Coby leading the way, the audience spends the whole episode hoping R2 accidentally activates his assassin protocols.

The episode is set up with the droids accompanying Jann as they drop Coby off at the Academy. During a stopover, Coby tries to spend his great uncle's inheritance on some droids, then insults 3PO and R2 for stopping him. When his pet raccoon gets kidnapped by the Starhunters, he blows all his money on a ship he doesn't know how to fly and chases after them. They stop and pick up C-3PO, but not Jann, the only competent member of the party. So off they go chasing after the stupid cat/squirrel. Starhunters is a cool enough name, but it's wasted on these putzes.

So the group arrives on a jungle planet where the Starhunters keep their zoo. Also, there are a bunch of chicken people on the planet. The chicken people are alright. A plot to rescue the meerkat is hatched, and naturally it involves C-3PO pretending to be an exotic animal. If you've ever seen a cartoon, you know that this is going to lead to a hilarious attempt at interspecies mating, and does it ever! While the Snuffleupagus puts its moves on 3PO, Coby and R2 rescue the prairie dog. They also rescue a weird bearded boy with three fingers on each hand.

The plan also apparently involved the chicken people overthrowing the Starhunters, but that part doesn't really materialize. Instead, after a botched Hail Mary pass, the group is saved by Jann Tosh, who tracked them down through hyperspace. Coby decides to give all his money to Uncle Creepy and go with him to return all the exotic animals to their homes. Jann is totally on board with that, making him the worst babysitter of all time. Fortunately for him, he doesn't have to worry about telling Toda he let his son go on an adventure with Kenny Rogers because he just got into the academy! The Imperial Academy! So, let's hope he wasn't assigned to the Death Star? Also, he can't take droids with him, so he just leaves them there with the chicken people. He's not even going to give them a ride, or try to sell them?

Anyway, you know how every show has a handful of episodes that just aren't interesting? This is the "Meg episode" of Droids. It's just pointless. The villains are the least menacing bad guys since Elmer Fudd. The droids don't even do much. Most of the action just happens. The only thing you would miss by skipping this episode is that you might wonder what happened to Jann, but he's barely here anyway. The good news is that next week we move on to the Mungo Baobab arc, with stories by Ben Burtt!


Best Moment: None. Everything was bad. Actually, I'll say 4:58 when 3PO gets his neck stretched out and sounds like Russel Brand.

Most WTF Moment: 19:01 First, Jann comes out of nowhere to save the day, then he puts the Starhunters into the cages under the control of the chicken people. That's actually pretty messed up. I mean, they were jerks, but this punishment seems a little extreme for a Saturday morning cartoon. Also, those chicken people know how to party. Their dancing makes the Ewok celebration look like Prude City.

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