Star Wars: Droids Review, Episode 5

The best news about this episode is that the youtube video once again contains the theme song. I don't know why anyone would upload an episode without it. It's funny how much more action occurs during the song than during any actual episode.

As you remember from last week, C-3PO and R2-D2 abandoned their former masters because they were afraid of interfering with their career plans. Since that time, the droids have apparently registered with a temp agency, which has sent them to a backwater mining town to work in a diner. This is not a good fit, and they are pretty quickly fired, but not before we meet Kleb-Zellock, the corpulent, but unique-looking, local crime boss. Unemployed, the droids decide to auction themselves off to a new master. I'm not sure who would get the money in this case, but it sets up one of those bits where the auction price goes down, like when Chris Elliott is up for auction in Groundhog Day. You don't see him much anymore.

They end up with Jann Tosh. He has a vest, Like Han Solo, but his shirt is perpetually ripped to show off his bod. Along with R2 and 3PO, Jann also acquires an odd-looking "android." I guess androids are more human-looking than regular droids. In this case, the android is actually a person. Which is to say an alien. Jann's purchases do not please his Uncle Gundy, whose dedication to a Yosemite Sam impression includes the catchphrase "sufferin' sattelites." Gundy wanted labor droids, which leads to some nice scenes of C-3PO being a crappy worker. Nothing too out of the ordinary here.

Unfortunately the weird alien (nicknamed Kez-Iban since even the pan-lingual C-3PO can't figure out what he's saying) draws the attention of Kleb-Zellock who knows he's being sought by IG-88 (I've heard of him!). Zellock kidnaps Kez-Iban while the rest of the group is distracted taking Unlcle Gundy to the hospital. Everything comes back to that diner where Kleb is eating Jello and listening to a live performance by Sy Snootles and the Max Rebo Band! It's nice to see the band without all those extra Special Edition members. A good old fashioned bar fight ensues. The gang is helped out by Grace Jones, but then they leave her there and get captured anyway. I assume she comes back eventually.

In a turn of events that surprises nobody whose ever seen a movie or TV show, Jann and the droids are put in the same cell as Kez-Iban. C-3PO does something useful for once, removing his leg to free himself from his ankle cuff and getting the others freed. Then some guy shows up and reminds Kez-Iban that he's a prince and can speak English. That makes things a lot easier. Also, his name is Mon Julpa now, but they're still trapped in a mine that's about to explode. Yadda, yadda, yadda, they end up in a control tower with Kleb-Zellock. Even though Zellock knows that the prince is worth a lot of money, he would still rather force him to work in the mine than cash in the reward. That's dedicated villainy there. This guy is already better than the Fromm gang.

As the mine begins to detonate, we pull the old 3 tunnel trick, where the heroes split up to chase Kleb. Naturally, team droid picks the right tunnel and bumbles their way to a knockout victory. The good guys save Kleb, but let all his money burn. That seems like a poor choice, but fortunately Uncle Gundy just discovered a valuable deposit and everyone is rich now. Yay!

While Jann Tosh isn't really an upgrade over the previous masters, the story overall seemed a little better than the previous arc. This is not to say there's anything original here, maybe just that the characters are put to better use. Except for Jessica Meade. That was just weird. Kleb-Zellock is a definite plus. Not only does he have his own style, he's got a weird sonic scream thing and a Manbearpig sidekick. I'm hopeful that this episode is a sign of good things to come in the next arc.

Best Moment: (17:31) A fight that starts out with the brilliant idea of punching a droid, and goes downhill from there until R2-D2 takes control and starts knocking droids around

Most WTF Moment: (11:25) If Sy Snootles' aggressive hip thrusts aren't enough, there's an elderly cowboy dancing with a dolled-up droid. It's like a Pat Benatar video in there.

Released Action Figures: Jann Tosh, Kez-Iban, Uncle Gundy

Unreleased Action Figures: Jessica Meade, Mon Julpa (Kenner was going to release a variant of this character!), Sy Snootles and the Max Rebo Band (A repack of the ROTJ set in Droids packaging was planned, but never released)

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