50 Creepy 3.75” Star Wars Toys (Part III):  30-21

Today we continue presenting our list of 50 Creepy 3.75" Star Wars Toys. They may be bloody, gory, gross, weird, or just plain creepy.

If you missed them, feel free to check out previous parts:
PART I, 50-41
PART II, 40-31.

Today we bring you numbers 30-21, along with a few [Creepy] Missing in Action Figure candidates that Hasbro could consider making.

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Darth Malak was one of the baddies from the über popular Knights of the Old Republic video games. Hasbro treated us to a few figures sourced from the game (though not enough, according to many collectors), but this one was definitely gross. Virtually every Sith across the Star Wars saga had to have some kind of facial deformity or injury which is usually covered/rectified by a mask or breathing apparatus. These features seemed to be intended to make clear to the viewer/reader how these characters could be angry enough to turn to the Dark Side. In this case, Malak has a metal jaw. Not content with just that, Hasbro went the extra mile to allow for the removal of the prosthetic piece, revealing a hideously mangled visage straight out of a horror movie.

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This was one of my favorite figures of the time. In 2002, this was an outstanding sculpt of Bespin Luke, and included some nice articulation, paint, and a well-executed feature. At the time, Hasbro was all about the magnets, and they used them to great effect here. This Luke featured a removable right hand that could be lopped off by Vader's lightsaber. In fact, there was a companion Darth Vader figure with a slashing action, and both figures came with environmental pieces of the the Bespin gantry. The magnets in the hand/wrist are completely unobtrusive when attached, so you don't even know they're there. The feature also allows you perfectly recreate one of the most pivotal scenes in film history. Not satisfied with just the removable hand, Hasbro also took the extra step of replicating the battering he took from the various pieces of debris that Vader Force-pushed into Luke's face. There's a particularly convincing bruise on the left temple. Finally, to round out the affair, Hasbro included the mini-bacta tourniquet dealy that was part of the Millennium Falcon's first aid kit. (It even plugs into a small hole in the bed of the BMF which came out 6 years later. Nice!) So here, Hasbro completed the trifecta of medical treatments received by Luke in ESB. We got the Hoth Bacta tank version, the first aid tourniquet version, and robed medical frigate version FTW!

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Padmé Amidala was a strong and inspiring leader of her people and servant of galactic democracy. Whether it be though diplomacy, espionage, or combat, Padmé did what she needed to do. She was everything her daughter would later become. Which is why it was so disappointing to see her worry, mope, and cry her way through the events of Revenge of the Sith. What happened? I don't know. But Hasbro stepped in and gave us a rather odd version of this character. In the TLC Evolutions "The Padmé Amidala Legacy" pack, we got three excellent figures representing a version from each of the prequel films. The ROTS entry was called "Mother of Heroes", and depicted a pregnant Padmé in an elegant house dress. The included accessory was a simple white robe, which was meant to give you the ol' two-fer. This allowed you to take the figure and dress it up to represent her time in the maternity ward on Polis Massa. So you could recreate the moments where Padmé gave birth to Luke and Leia, and then decided that raising them wasn't worth her time, so she died. This is totally in character for the legendary warrior queen.

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Going along with The Great Magnet Frenzy of 2002, Hasbro gave us an obvious figure choice to represent the moment Dooku sliced off Anakin's left forearm. After making short work of Obi-Wan, Dooku came close to ending both of the Jedis' existences on this plane, but something to say about that, Yoda had. Anakin is kind of a double-feature figure, as not only does he have the well-concealed magnetic arm attachment, but also a not-so-well-concealed dial in his back that when rotated, causes his left hand to spin. It's a silly feature, and should have just been left on the drawing board. But have fun making Dooku slash off Anakin's arm!

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This was the first figure I owned that actually made me angry when I opened it. As soon as I pulled the figure out of the bubble, the head fell off. It was a big spoiler that ruined the ending of the character that was being billed as the main antagonist of AOTC. Sure, it was still cool to see it actually happen on screen at the hands of Mace "BMF" Windu, but it was upsetting at the time. I felt it ruined the movie. It didn't, of course, because the film was generally pretty bad on its own, thank you. But anyway, Hasbro [de]capitalized on the moment by giving us a magnet feature which allowed our Mace figures to lop off the head of this fake Mandalorian. It wasn't the first figure in the line to have a decapitation feature, but it continues the tradition admirably.

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When Hasbro released Captain Antilles in 2004, it was one of those figures that made me do a small dance of joy. He was from an iconic moment in the opening moments of the saga, and many collectors had been waiting since 1977 for this to be made. Hasbro didn't disappoint. It was a nice sculpt and a great looking figure for 2004, and still looks cool today, even if we know Hasbro could do so much better now. At no point did we ever see Antilles on screen other than within the choke grip of Vader and then immediately after as a corpse. The figure's face has a frightened look, and his hands (at least the left one) are meant to work as if he's struggling against Vader's grip. The photo imagery on the bubble insert leaves no doubt: this Captain Antilles figure is in the final moments of life, as he desperately gasps for air before having his windpipe crushed by the Sith Lord. Morbid stuff, Hasbro!

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This is a pretty cool figure, although not without technical faults. It would have been nearly perfect if it came with a swappable "regular" head, because the enhanced skull view hadn't happened while Vader still had his hand. Nevertheless, Hasbro improved upon past Vaders with which they tried to provide these features. Here, the removable hand leaves a nice metallic stump. The accessories allow you to show the moment that Vader was holding Palpatine above his head, while Vader absorbed some ancillary Sith lightning. And the transparent helmet shows off Anakin's skull, as it was for just an instant on screen. It's well executed, if not perfect, giving us some nice options for various moments during Darth Vader's grisly end.

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Passel Argente and Cat Miin are both repaints from the SAGA (AOTC) Geonosian War Room/Chamber sets. While the former is the same character, the latter was initially a figure of Shu Mai. Miin was the aide to Shu Mai in both AOTC and ROTS. While she did not get an AOTC figure, she gets one for ROTS. Both are painted with lightsaber slash marks on the front of their bodies, which basically means they're dead. That's right, these are figures of dead characters. Not ghosts, not just the clothing, but the actual dead characters. You pretty much open them from the package, and lay them down on the floor of your Mustafar diorama. So tell me again why we don't have Owen and Beru Lars' skeletons? We have everything that would serve as precedent from Hasbro, so let's just pull the trigger already!

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A protoype of Darth Vader (Funeral Pyre) was actually shown by Hasbro in their booth at SDCC 2011. I was never sure if they truly were open to sending it into production, or if it was just a joke. Either way, they went so far as to actually make a pyre with plastic flames engulfing the dead Vader figure, complete with lights and sounds. We got a talking Celebration III ROTS Vader, and a talking Vader/Palpatine exclusive, so why not finish the arc with a Vader Funeral Pyre, where the flames do all the talking? Seriously. Watch this YouTube video courtesy of our friends at JTA, and the tell yourself you don't want it.






While most casual viewers probably weren't certain if Anakin's redeemed body was inside the armor burned by Luke, other sources confirm that Anakin's body disappeared and became one with The Force, leaving Luke to burn only the empty armor. However, there is no dispute that Qui-Gon's body is present to be barbecued on Naboo. Qui-Gon learned just enough of the skill to allow himself to commune through the Force after his death, but he apparently wasn't able to save his body so he could appear before the living. If Hasbro could do a prototype for Vader, it's not much of a stretch to do the same for QGJ.






When Padmé Amidala died, she was given a state funeral on Naboo at the end of ROTS. Hasbro has given us so many versions of Padmé in different outfits, but this one is conspicuously missing. Along with a floating casket, Hasbro should be sure to include the jaspor snippet carved by Little Ani. Oh, and we need a Queen Apailana figure. Might as well give us a Queen Jamillia figure as well.

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This is the second figure in the 2002-2004 SAGA line to give us an AOTC-inspired figure with a magnetic feature so you could recreate the moment where it loses its head. We ranked this one a little higher on the list than Jango because at least Jango was a viable combatant with an important role in the Confederacy. Here we have a Tusken dude who was just trying to protect his village. Sure, his clan had kidnapped and beaten poor Shmi, but it's what they did. The Autumn Wind is a Raider, after all. But apparently Anakin wan't a fan of John Facenda. Upon exiting the small tent where his mother had just died in his arms, Anakin beheaded two Tuskens that were unfortunate enough to be relaxing just outside the doorway. Then a third Tusken charged, where he became another victim of Anakin's rage. It's a good thing Anakin stopped there, though, and just went home. Wait, what? He didn't? Oh my.

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The countdown will continue soon. Stay tuned!

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