Star Wars Fan Theories From a Long Time Ago

Posted by Bret on 06/04/17 at 06:35 AM Category: Star Wars Misc

Before TV's had remote control, how did you change the channel? In my case, I was the remote control. My dad would tell me to get up and turn the dial to "2". So how did fans discuss their Star Wars theories during the time of the Original Trilogy?

Al Gore hadn't invented the internet yet, so people back then had to go buy and read these printed things called "newsletters" and "magazines" which could contain articles written by supposedly informed insiders revealing plausible theories about the films. Then, if you were sufficiently either thrilled or appalled by what you read, you could put pen to paper and record your rebuttals or fresh theories of your own.

Then you'd use something called a "stamp", which, when affixed (using saliva from your tongue) to the outside of an envelope containing one's written thoughts, would enable it all to be transported to a physical address of your choice via a mighty logistics wonder called the United States Post Office, usually through the use of highly trained bison or beavers or something similar. The possibility existed that one's ideas might be selected and published in the next issue of the magazine, and thus a crude and rudimentary form of public discourse ensued.

This all sounds like a lot of effort compared to the world of today, when you can just skim every fifth word of a theory online, and then respond instantly and anonymously via Disqus with the appropriate amount of rage that can only be properly expressed with a poop emoji, just before losing interest altogether and moving on to the latest instance of Draymond Green being a jerk.

I have no idea how we survived back then.

Anyway, check out some Tweets from Pablo Hidalgo where he shares images from a December 1980 magazine containing wild theories on the Skywalker Family, Boba Fett being a woman, and JEDI being an acronym for an ancient Christian Jesus-cloning program. All comedy gold, while I particularly enjoy that the Millenium Falcon was a warship specially designed by Jedi scientists.