If I Ruled The World:  What 2024 TVC Would Look Like

Despite what some people think when I pitch product ideas on here, I am not Hasbro, I do not work for Hasbro, and I have absolutely zero influence over what Hasbro does. The only thing that separates me from the guy standing next to me in the action figure aisle is that I registered a domain fifteen years ago. So when I get frustrated that another year goes by and almost none of my most wanted figures are on Hasbro's list, I ideate ways to mitigate Hasbro's main line budget decisions. When I suggest the A Hew Hope heroes go to HasLab, it's not because I don't think they are main line viable, it's because Hasbro evidently does not. If I could somehow force them to do what I wanted, it would be different.

The purpose of this article is to pretend that I call all the shots for the Vintage Collection in 2024. It's purely fantasy because it ignores licensor and managerial oversight, which would never happen. But I'm doing this legitimately as if it were my job, and profitability and cost are real concerns. So I'm not going to bankrupt Hasbro by emptying out the entire cupboard of all the unmade Jabba's aliens. I'm trying to do what I think we be the best retail success. I'm using these requirements:

• Five 6-Figure Waves
• Budget for 13 new tools

I'm going to render unto Caesar, and declare one of those five waves is 100% new media. Since I haven't seen the new media yet, I can't imagine what that wave is. So I'm going to outline the four remaining waves. I'm also going to go above and beyond and give 5 of the 13 newly tooled figures to new media. This means I only have 8 newly tooled figures to work with across four waves and twenty four figures. Ready?

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• Luke Skywalker - newly tooled
• Princess Leia Organa - newly tooled
• Han Solo - newly tooled
• Ben "Obi-Wan" Kenobi - newly tooled
• Darth Vader (Episode IV) - partially tooled
• Stormtrooper - repack

• Darth Maul - newly tooled
• Galactic Marine - newly tooled
• Commander Bacara - partially tooled
• 212th Clone Trooper (Episode III) - repaint
• Jango Fett - partially tooled
• Count Dooku - partially tooled

• Snowtrooper - newly tooled
• Han Solo (Bespin) - partially tooled
• Corman Jeihn (Bespin Guard) - partially tooled
• Boba Fett (Episode V) - partially tooled
• General Veers - partially tooled
• Rebel Commander (Original 96) - partially tooled

• Moff Gideon's Imperial Supercommando - newly tooled
• Bo-Katan Kryze (Mythosaur Sigil) - partially tooled
• The Mandalorian (Season 2/3) - repack
• Peli Motto - partially tooled (using Resistance Tech Rose)
• Male Child of the Watch - repaint
• Female Child of the Watch - repaint

• Luke Skywalker (ANH) with all the accessories
• Snowtrooper with E-Web cannon

• Snowtrooopers
• Imperial Commandos
• Rebel/New Republic Pilots
• Bespin Guards

• Geonosis Hangar with Episode II carded Yoda

• Uzay Blue Star using the Snowtroooper sculpt
• Commander Keller's Galactic Marine (publishing)

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Is it perfect? No, but it's not easy coming up with twenty four figures and only 8 100% newly tooled candidates. I would make an event out of the A New Hope wave since it represents half the original 12-backs. I would even encourage retailers to take shelf displays like in the vintage days which would contain unpunched figures (this would generate 50 times the traffic that Carbonized did). I'm blowing half my new tooling budget right there, but I'm confident it will come back to me in sales.

I struggled with a playset, but with Dooku getting into the line as a partial retool based on the 2005 release, we have all the players for the final lightsaber battle in Attack of the Clones. The Yoda could just be a repack of VC20, but on a new card. For the PT wave, Ki-Adi-Mundi would have made a lot of sense to go with Bacara and the Galactic Marine, but remember I said I was trying to be as profitable as possible. A new Darth Maul with all the modern articulation would sell by the pallet (and not just to John Miko).

So what says you? Do I keep my fictional job?

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