Figures That Make Me Happy:  Dr. Evazan (Cantina Patron)

Even when I was a fat little idiot, I knew that the omission of Dr. Evazan from the Kenner line was wrong. It was wrong, Jerry, WRONG! We got a figure of Han's cantitna nemesis, Greedo, and then three other weirdos. Very much appreciated weirdos, but weirdos nonetheless. Hammerhead was recognizable, but I had no idea where Snaggletooth appeared (and technically, he didn't). Walrus Man made sense as he's a part of the fracas with Luke, but he was really the sidekick to the main aggressor. The gnarled faced Dr. Evazan was the nightmare creation out of the duo. I couldn't figure out how he didn't crack the figure lineup as a kid.

Now, if you recall back to the Ceremonial Luke "Figure that Makes Me Happy" I celebrated the initial POTF2 offering because of the excitement of it being the first ever incarnation of that Luke in the history of the Star Wars line. I can't celebrate Dr. Evazan's action figure debut in the same manner. 1997's "Cantina Showdown" Dr. Evazan was a "Be sure to drink your Olvatine" cursed monkey paw abomination:


It was a preposed in a ridiculous stance with comical paint applications on the face. The wholly inaccurate goatee looks like the way the Simpsons draw a hobo. Somehow, when this figure was partially retooled in 2004, it got worse:


Look at that thing. LOOK AT IT. So, when an all new Dr. Evazan was announced for the Vintage Collection in 2011, I was overjoyed. Finally, decades of longing would come to an end. When it was announced that it would be delayed until 2012, I was crestfallen, and perhaps it was the first sign of some weakening in the Vintage Collection (not due to the market, but due to line bungling). Patience was rewarded, however. In 2012 we would finally get a definitive Dr. Evazan, and on a Vintage Collection card no less. Itch scratched. Sure he doesn't have barbell hips and ball jointed everything else, but for many Cantina denizens, standard super articulation is enough.

Phew, I finished this article with six minutes to spare before the draft. LFG!!!

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