WHAT…THE HECK? I usually have a good memory for the worst of the worst in the history of the line, but for some reason I have a blindspot for this figure.  I constantly forget about it, but whenever I’m reminded of it, THIS is my reaction.

Before we dive into the meat of the review, a little prefacing is necessary.  We all know that “third leg” can be used as an adult themed euphemism for a certain Dirk Diggler-esque quality.  Making this line of commentary even more tempting is the fact that this R2-D2 figure literally has a prodigious third leg.  We all get it.  We don’t need to say it.  Okay?  Please?  For once internet, just leave it.  This is a family friendly site, and it will stay that way by force of the banhammer if necessary (this will apply to tomorrow’s throwback review as well).  Hasbro is killing me with this wave.  Good?  Okay, moving on.

In the vintage Kenner era, mainline R2-D2 figures had one frustrating shortcoming.  All of the R2-D2 figures released in the mainline were strictly bipedal.  It was actually a little frustrating that none of the figures came with the extendable third leg so that R2-D2 could roll about as he does for a majority of the time.  The fact that the vintage Kenner Droid Factory allowed you to build an actual rolling R2-D2 was a HUGE deal in the annals of 1970’s kiddome. It also let you build all manner of droid awesomeness.  I would consider it a hall-of-fame toy, but I’m digressing.  Another vintage limitation when it comes to R2-D2 figures was exemplified with the POTF R2-D2 with pop up lightsaber.  The height of that figure dictated a shorter lightsaber.  If a true lightsaber is a longsword, the one included with the POTF R2 was more like a Roman gladius with a blunted end to facilitate the pop up mechanism.

It’s as if Hasbro took these two quirks into account, and in improving one, they beat the other issue into a pulp.  You don’t get a regular third leg with this figure.  You get the mother of all third legs!  The included saber, while not truly full sized, approaches a more realistic look.  In order to accommodate the length of a partially ignited lightsaber blade, this R2 figure was given the mightiest third leg in the history of astromechs. 

This is Monster Truck R2-D2! Coming this SUNDAY Sunday sunday to the Hydrox Arena, witness the protocol droid crushing, power droid smashing action of BAD-R-TI-2UDE.  Watch as he attempts to break the galactic record by jumping TWENTY SANDCRAWLERS!  We’ll sell you the whole seat, BUT YOU’LL ONLY NEED THE EDGE!

The figure looks absolutely ridiculous.  In fact, this figure may have portended the 6” line.  Hasbro knew we wouldn’t accept a stupid gargantuan scale, so they conditioned us by sneaking aspects of gigantism into the 3.75” scale.  Over time, our resistance was broken down and TBS happened.  I’m stating it here officially:  This R2-D2 figure is patient zero in the 6” scale outbreak. GET HIM!  Of course, all of the proportionality-skewing concessions had to be made in order to accommodate the aforementioned ignited lightsaber, which in and of itself is also ridiculous.  Why would the saber be ignited pre-launch?  Of course, that was done for safety reasons since it’s spring-launched.  As we learned in the vintage days with the cancellation of the rocket-firing Boba Fett, projectile-launching something as small as a lightsaber hilt would have been a choking hazard.  And not just for kids, as some of our adult readers definitely would have choked to death.  Probably BIGJIM.  He bought the 6” TIE Fighter, but passed on the Sail Barge.  There’s no way he’s dealing with a full deck. 

The head doesn’t rotate because doing so would snap the contained lightsaber.  The two legs do move via swivel joints, but there’s no point in articulating them.  The massive third leg is completely static and sculpted at a predefined angle.  The angle of the primary legs has to match, otherwise the figure isn’t stable.  So this is a 2POA figure that is effectively 0POA.  You might think this would cause me to give it another 1 out of 10, but that launching mechanism works really well, and it’s kind of fun.  For that reason, I’m giving it an extra point.

If we gave comedy ratings, this figure is a 10 out of 10, and that’s a reason to own it.  Of the silliest Star Wars action figures in history, this is in the top 5.