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Top 5 Vintage Collection “Original 92” New Sculpt Wish List

Posted by Chris on 08/31/17 at 07:02 AM Category: Top 5
Alright, alright. Today we have the top 5 most needed "Original 92" new sculpts in the Vintage Collection. Since these are all original Kenner figures, that means the list is entirely Original Trilogy figure. If you have a problem with that, well you can GIT OUT!

1. Saelt-Marae (Yak Face)

Yak Face
We've broken out our Vintage Collection wish lists into different categories. Not only is Yak Face our number one priority in this "Original 92" category, it's our number one priority overall. He was our top nomination in the most recent Fans' Choice poll. The good news is that this figure is coming. It hasn't been confirmed by Hasbro nor do we have any inside information, but we know in our souls it's coming. It's been too heavily rumored and too heavily mentioned by Hasbro themselves for it not to be coming. But the wait has been interminable.

Way back when the awesome Q&A was running, we asked if Yak Face would appear on its bilingual POTF '85 card in the Vintage Collection. The answer was no, and that an Episode VI card would be retconned, and thus that is the card we used for the mock up (left). When the figure is migrated to the ROTJ template, we have only one request: the hot pink figure background and name pill must be retained. Absolutely nothing screams "eighties" like hot pink. My skateboard in the early eighties was hot pink. My dream car is a 1971 Moulin Rouge 'Cuda with black billboards. (Can someone lend me the quarter of a million bucks to buy one?) I like hot pink. Wanna fight about it?



2. Emperor Palpatine

Emperor Palpatine
Hasbro, YOU DID THIS TO US! The fact that we have to waste one of our wish list spots on Emperor Palpatine is an outrage. WE ONLY HAVE FIVE SLOTS! I really wanted this slot to go to EV-9D9, but I can't, because you're slow playing a definitive Emperor Palpatine figure. Well, I guess I could. It's not like Mr. Nomadscout would do anything about it. He hasn't even seen The Big Lebowski. He doesn't know nothing. But I'd get yelled at in the comments if I omitted Palpatine. No one likes to get yelled at.

Looking at the card mock, it looks like Palpatine is incredulous at his omission thus far from the Vintage Collection. I swear that wasn't my intent. I'm not that clever. It was just the "easiest" photo to work with for my limited graphics skills (but I do have bowhunting skills). The first paragraph's criticism of Hasbro is in jest. Deep down I sense that a definitive Palpatine just wasn't ready yet. In 2012, Hasbro was still feeling their way through soft goods in this scale. Specifically, the hoods just never worked right. For the Episode I Darth Sidious, they opted for a hybrid approach with a plastic hood and soft goods robe. While I would prefer a shaping wire to manage the lay of the hood, the hybrid approach would be best, if that's not doable, .



3. Klaatu

Klaatu
In our Unproduced Character Guide (M.I.A.F.) we ranked Klaatu number one on the Skiff Guard / Sail Barge Combatants list, and we caught some heat for it. We were chastised for having the temerity to Include a figure that has already been made in the modern line on our "unproduced" list. In my M.I.A.F write up for Klaatu, I really take that POTF2 Cinema Scene Klaatu figure to task. I just looked at that figure again, and I'm going to be honest. It's not that terrible. I must have had some dried excrement in my fur the day I wrote the M.I.A.F. entry, but the figure does need to be updated. The POTF2 rendition is only 5POA and it's sculpted with pillow pants (really wearing out the Clerks 2 references lately). The sculptor must have decided that Klaatu's Donna Summer jumpsuit needed to be fully bloused out for necessary dynamism. This is the "skiff guard" that most clearly engages Luke during the battle on the bridge of the Sail Barge. The character is played by Billy Dee Williams' son, Corey, and it's one of the sacred "original 92." It simply must be done.

There is a bit of a community Easter egg in that card mock. The basis of that Klaatu photo comes from the autograph collection of the late Mark Grimshaw.


4. Sim Aloo

Sim Aloo
In Return of the Jedi, there are two clearly visible Imperial Dignitaries. It's 2.5 if you count the Unidentified Imperial Adviser (tall hat) who photo bombs Palpatine as he disembarks the shuttle. The two you can clearly see are Janus Greejatus and Sim Aloo. Greejatus was the first dignitary tackled in 2003's "Saga" line. Naturally he was immediately followed by Kren Blista-Vanee who no one ever heard of. It must have been Kren's hat. It's vexing. Well-hatted dignitary aside, we are, amazingly, still waiting for our first modern Sim Aloo figure. The only version of the figure was released in the vintage Kenner POTF '85 line.

I would like to take the opportunity to use the rest of this write-up to address all of you terrible people who keep asking Hasbro to make reproduction POTF cards. You are all terrible. The POTF cards are terrible. The logo is hecka ugly and the full card photo is reduced to an inset. WHY WOULD YOU WANT THAT? No! Sim Aloo, like Yak Face, needs to be retconned onto an Episode VI card. The only vestige from the 1985 card that should be used is the lavender figure background and name pill color. It's quite fetching. If you want coins, go buy a TAC Darth Malak figure and pound sand.


5. Helder Spinoza

Helder Spinoza
So here's a tough one. Which character should be considered as the light-skinned vintage Bespin guard? The figure sports a Fu Manchu mustache which appears to represent Helder Spinoza, but the guard depicted on the vintage card is Pedar Solardo. So what do you go with? Well, if you read the bold headline right above this, you already know what we think. Plus Helder Spinoza claimed the top spot in our Characters of Bespin M.I.A.F. list. You should note that I had absolutely nothing to do with that Bespin list. So you can yell at CJ for having Treva Horme rated so low.

Hasbro has released numerous Bespin Guards since the line returned in 1995. There was the horrid one included with the POTJ Carbon Freeze chamber. There was the casual Asian Bespin Guard from POTJ with the open jacket. TLC gave us both Sergeant Edian and Utris M'Toc, though neither card designated the specific character name. All this time we're still waiting for the vintage guy. C'mon Hasbro, give us the vintage guy. You could also release a Pedar Solardo figure using the original vintage Kenner card art. We won't complain. We need Sergeant Edian in the Vintage Collection, too, but that would be a repack, so it doesn't qualify for this "all new" list.



Honorable Mentions

Momaw Nadon Power Droid FX-7 21-B Barada EV-9D9 8D8 Amanaman Bib Fortuna




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