The Retro Collection Continues To Lose Its Way In My Opinion

Yes, it's another Retro Collection article. Look, if I'm going to have to provide 80% of the content on here, you're going to have to deal with the subjects that inspire me to write (and such inspiration is in dwindling supply). When the Retro Collection was announced, I was beyond frustrated. I hated the idea, but I knew it was inevitable. Even if it wasn't exactly a loud chorus, there were enough people asking for Hasbro to produce low articulation, low deco, hight profit figures that if you were surprised by it coming to fruition, then you probably also get surprised when the cost of your streaming services go up. That portion of the fanbase was giving Hasbro permission to do the thing they desperately wanted to do in the first place. Of course it was going to happen. It's like encouraging the NFL to go to a pay-per-view model (and yes, some fans are asking for that), but I'm getting off track.

Despite not wanting to see this product come to light, the fact the first wave was entirely A New Hope 12-back figures made me weak, and I bought them. Then the follow up wave contained my Kryptonite: Boba Fett. I actually went out hunting for that one. The hooks were starting to get set, but then Hasbro let me off the line:


I actually reviewed that entire wave here on Bantha Skull. It was joyless. Retro would continue to be a swing of emotions for me. I'd grab the bounty hunter 2-packs off of Amazon, and I'd get back five minutes of my youth. Then I'd buy the Dark Times Retro Vader because "it's Vader", and I'd feel a hollowness. So on and so forth. I had the lows of making another impulsive purchase (like the Morak Boba Fett), followed by near euphoria of getting Mon Mothma and Yak Face.

The anachronism of making figures as if it were 1982 based on media from the 21st century breaks my brain. It would be like making a new Godzilla movie using a guy in a suit. It would be like making a new King Kong movie using Ray Harryhausen stop motion. Those things have charm for their era, but would be jarring today. Please note that no disrespect is meant to a master craftsman like the great Ray Harryhausen. I'm just pointing out that he was using the tools of his time. The only instance where it would make sense to use those old technologies would be to seamlessly complete an unfinished deleted scene from the 1981 Clash of the Titans as an example. You can see where I'm going.

That brings me to the latest Retro Collection offering that fries my cranium so thoroughly that I'm reduced to a frothing, convulsing heap on the floor. THE EXISTING 1999 PHANTOM MENACE FIGURES ARE ALREADY RETRO, AND NOW HASBRO IS MAKING THEM MORE RETRO?!?! What was that meeting like? The brand team passed around the Episode I CommTech Jar Jar figure, and someone said, "We can do worse"? I don't think I'm alone in my feelings for the newer media Retro. My recent trip to Ollies had so many Wave 2 Mandalorian and Obi-Wan Kenobi Retro that it rivaled that vintage toy store photo of the Star Wars aisle that keeps getting recycled on social media (you know the one).

If Hasbro wants to impress me as a customer, they need to bring me reproductions of figures that are prohibitively expensive to acquire, such as the recently released Yak Face. Blue Snaggletooth is begging for a second go. They need to fill in the gaps of the true vintage Kenner line up, such the new Mon Mothma. Now bring me a Rebel Fleet Trooper. But if Hasbro really wants to knock my socks off, they need to complete the "deleted scenes". Bring me the canceled Droids wave 2:

---

comments powered by Disqus