Let’s talk for a minute about the nature of 3.75” scale.  It’s very existence is due to vehicles in the Star Wars line.  Kenner’s then 12” scale, which was used for the Six Million Dollar Man line and even Mego’s 8” scale would have made things like the Millenium Falcon impossible.  Kenner’s designers early on realized that the Star Wars universe was a character unto itself, and wanted to allow kids to recreate as much of it as possible.  We’ve recently recounted the story of how two prodigious fingers were spread apart after a moment’s consideration and the most successful action figure line in history was born.  Other lines are about the characters.  3.75” Star Wars collecting is about the world.  It’s why figures like Hammerhead and Snaggletooth from the vintage Kenner lineup are nearly as iconic as Luke Skywalker.  This is all to say that 3.75” action figures and their accompanying vehicles are inextricable.  There is a wrongness to the universe when one exists without the other. 

Of course the adult collectors who were trying to world-build were pulling the vehicle line in a completely different direction from what kids were wanting.  We wanted better scaled (and thus bigger) vehicles with more realism and less play features.  The “play” features should only be for display configuration.  We didn’t really want toys.  We wanted replicas, but what had to be frustrating for Hasbro was that we demanded to pay toy prices for that realism.  Collectors slowly started ignoring everything.  The realistic and properly scaled vehicles were ignored because of the rising MSRP.  The play-feature laden ‘mini-rig” vehicles were ignored because they were “stupid kids’ toys.”  We even got angry at those kid-focused vehicles because how dare Hasbro make something not intended for us while we simultaneously refuse to pay for collector-focused items.  The collector vehicle line all but disappeared, and that wrongness settled into the Star Wars collecting universe. 

And then…

It’s back, BAY-BEE.  With the Vintage Collection Imperial Combat Assault Tank, Hasbro didn’t quietly sneak back into the game.  They kicked down the door, and declared that from this day forth no longer shall collectors suffer poorly detailed unibody ships, complete with the apparent quality of vacu-formed Halloween masks and including obtrusive Nerf play features.  But there’s a catch: it’s going to cost you.  This is what we have been demanding, but this is also the cost of what we’ve been demanding.  You’ve seen the exploded view of the Assault Tank.  All the individual parts add to the depth and the realism of the tank, but that is only as good as the paint apps that bring those details out.  This vehicle is a landmark in that respect.  These are the most detailed paint applications on a Hasbro Star Wars vehicle, ever.  It’s almost overwhelming at first.  The “used universe” feel is alive and well.  This is a vehicle that has seen service in the Galactic Civil war and it bears the scars of traversing the harsh Jedha landscape.  Even the skid plate on the underside the tank is distressed despite the fact that this detail may never see the light of day in most collections.  When you’re opening yours, take a moment to soak in the details during the unboxing experience.  This is special.  I don’t know how long this type of product will last.  Take the time to appreciate what we have here.  I just have a feeling that we’re in a unique time in the hobby right now.  I can envision a day years from now when this vehicle is re-released with 1/8th the detailing and collectors reminisce fondly about that time in 2018 when Hasbro pulled out all the stops on the paint applications.  It will seem like a distant dream that which people will have to be reminded.

The “play” features of the tank are exactly as I described above.  They do not unacceptably detract from the aesthetic, but still provide commensurate utility for display configuration.  The hatches for both the commander and driver open.  The rubber treads actually work though my sample doesn’t roll (not that that is important at all for a display piece).  There is a removable panel that gives you access to a hyper-detailed cockpit which features a dark over-wash to give it that grimy, metallic, used feel.  I love the cargo area.  The bed can be opened up to transport troops, or the two included panels can close off the recess and it can be used as a flatbed hauler in addition to accommodating the cargo containers. 

The vehicle is a bit under-scaled, but we’ve always understood that such accommodations are necessary.  Even the BMF and upcoming Barge are not to scale.  The $79.99 MSRP is a lot, but it’s worth every penny.  A piece of me hopes that some part of that price is so Hasbro can keep the production run just short of meeting 100% of the demand.  I hope collectors that hold out for a steep sale or clearance end up paying a 2x premium on Ebay and their kids get pink eye.  If this checks all your boxes for what a Star Wars vehicle should be, just buy it and be happy with a great purchase.

Watch this entire video before continuing.  I’ll know if you don’t:

Ellis “Red” Redding:

I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were singing about. Truth is, I don’t want to know. Some things are best left unsaid. I’d like to think they were singing about something so beautiful, it can’t be expressed in words, and makes your heart ache because of it.

They’re singing about this Imperial Assault Tank, Red.  They’re singing about the tank.