Here’s a figure that I’m lucky to have found.  It was probably one of the most difficult figures to find in the wild, and secondary market prices and shortages actually created a robust black market for this figure.  Hasbro grossly underestimated the demand for this figure, especially after the release of The Force Awakens revealed the shocking plot twist revolving around Constable Zuvio’s dark secret that he is Snoke.

In case this gallery and review is put into a time capsule, and people in the distant future are reading this, I will state for the record that none of that last paragraph is even remotely true, although as of the publication of this review it is technically possible that Constable Zuvio is Snoke.  For those of us that are reading this in the present time, Zuvio became a sad joke.  An early character design that was obviously provided to Hasbro long before JJ Abrams decided to cut Zuvio from the film almost entirely.  Some might say that Zuvio is actually there.  Pablo Hidalgo tweeted the actual frames in which he can be seen in the Jakku marketplace chase scene.  He’s definitely canon, as he is written about in several stories.

So what about the figure?  Besides the fact that had he not been made, it’s unlikely a single fan would have been interested in him being immortalized in plastic, even 20 years from now as #562 in The Vintage Collection.  But we have him.

The sculpt isn’t bad.  The face is mostly obscured by a head wrap and hat, but the eyes and the mobility of the neck joint allow the figure a modicum of charisma.  The uniform is simple, but not offensively so.  Zuvio has a removable backpack, although unless he is simultaneously carrying his rifle, he has some serious balance issues.  He’s more sturdy without the backpack, but then you have an unappealing spinal hole left behind.  He grips the weapon in one hand, but the more demanding collector would prefer a two handed grip, of course.  The included super-accessory is part 1 of 3 to combine.  It’s actually two pieces of a larger thing, but Zuvio can wield them like dual battle axes.  He doesn’t seem like the bezerker type, but who am I to judge?

Zuvio actually isn’t a terrible figure, I just wish that he had a better center of gravity.  Or…we could have just had a different character altogether.