And so here we are. Strap in.  This is going to be a very long one.

Thunder thighs are on the move.  Thunder thighs are loose.
-Peter Griffin

I had no plans to do this review, but somewhat randomly, Mr. Nomascout told me that I had to. Do you get that?  He didn’t ask if I minded doing this review.  He didn’t ask if I could do it as a favor to him.  He flat out demanded that I was doing this one.  I didn’t get an option.  We don’t have that sort of relationship.  Despite our somewhat performative bickering here, our true selves are fairly respectful of one another.  So why this breach of etiquette ordering me to review yet another extremely frustrating and inappropriate tooling reuse in the Vintage Collection?  I realized it’s very much like when John Miko tricked me into reviewing 2023’s VC281 - Han Solo, which was another example of frustrating and inappropriate tooling reuse in the Vintage Collection.  The reason:

I’ve not been blessed with many positive personality traits.  I’m not a charmer or a schmoozer.  I could never be a salesman.  I’d starve to death if I had to live off of sales commissions.  I’ve never commanded a room.  I’m awkward and I have no earthy idea how to be tactful or subtle (nomad usually has to tone down my rant articles).  But the universe doesn’t usually derprive a person of everything.  Whoever crafted my character merely put all my trait points into being very good at the first part of the alcoholic’s prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…

For whatever reason, I cope very well with bad things if they are an “it is what it is” situation.  The 3.75” super articulated action figures no longer makes economic sense.  I repeatedly say this freely despite that fact that this site’s raison d’être is 3.75” super articulated figures.  I’m not mad about it because it’s no one’s fault, and in many ways can’t be prevented.  It would take a series of articles unto themselves to fully document, but in order to be pithy for the sake of this review, it’s merely a byproduct of progress.  It’s a function of time, and time, unfortunately, is relentless in it’s march forward.  It can’t be changed, and it’s not fair.  Dwelling on that unfairness is unproductive.  Complaining without any possibility of affecting change is whining.  I’d rather focus on ways to mitigate it.  In our specific case, one way is to raise the MSRP.

Having said all that, while I’m completely at ease admitting the fact that the 3.75” super articulated scale no longer makes economic sense, that doesn’t mean I’m just going to take it in stride what Hasbro gratuitously shoves that fact in our face.  Cutting corners so severely that the square becomes round does just that.  That’s what this Dedra Meero figure is.  It’s the equivalent of passing gas in a crowded elevator.  Despite the fact that a newly tooled female Imperial Officer buck would have plenty of opportunity for reuse, Hasbro opted for a true half measure.  We get a newly tooled upper body married to the existing male officer lower body.  The end result looks ridiculous.  I can best sum it up in this pop culture collage:

(click for the full sized image)

All sense of proportionality is lost.  You have a very realistic female upper body married to a lower body of an East German power lifter, but it gets worse.  The waist of this figure falls at the exact same height as the previous male figures.  It measures 3.66 inches tall which is a proportionate height of 5 foot 5 inches tall, which is exactly the height of Denise Gough.  But it has the lower body of figures that scale to roughly 5 feet 10 inches tall.  All of the height adjustment is therefore made via the upper torso.  This exacerbates the proportionality issues.  Women have proportionally longer legs than men, but this is pushing it.

To our readers from the elsewhere parts of the world, I apologize for using the imperial system for the above measurements.  But General Bargatze didn’t cross the icy Deleware on Christmas day, 1776, just to have me capitulate to your sensical, and far less arbitrary system of measurement nearly 250 years later.

Continental soldier:  And how many yards in a mile, sir?

General Bargatze: Nobody knows.

The first shame about this figure is that the newly tooled upper body is quite excellent.  Unlike her male counterparts, the elbows bend to just beyond ninety degrees.  I also really like the head sculpt.  Dedra Meero wears a very severe expression in Andor.  She is the ISB’s Frau Farbissina.  Her scornful gaze is appropriately recreated.  I think the second to last image really captures this. I’m giving the figure a 5 out of 10.  My logic is this:  I’m giving 10 points to the upper body and 0 points to lower body, and taking the average.  I don’t care if it makes sense.

To the Hasbro brand team, no reasonable person blames you for the current economic state.  No reasonable person blames you for the lousy budget Hasbro corporate gives you for the Vintage Collection combined with the profit demands.  We understand that cutting corners becomes a necessity in this environment, but the onus is on you to know which corners are appropriate to be cut.  It’s more art than science, but that doesn’t excuse you.  Though, if it had to be distilled down to one basic rule, it would be how readily a fan can recognize the inaccuracy resulting from the shortcut.  No one immediately knew that Velken Tezeri wasn’t 100% accurate.  But when it comes to basic human anatomy, recognizing inaccuracies is instantaneous.

The second shame is that we don’t have a single figure of a character that Dedra Meero interacts with for all nine episodes of Andor season 1 in which she appears.  She joins Hunter and the solitary Knight of Ren in the ranks of TVC 2.0 figures without a dance partner.  Some of her counterparts, such as Syril “Cereal” Karn in a suit and tie would make for terrible figures.  But fellow ISB officers such as Lio Partagaz, Lieutenant Supervisor Blevin, Lonni Jung, and Wullf Yularen would be welcome and doable.