We’re going on a bit of a departure from our normal gallery and review format here.  Hasbro just shipped the “Jabba’s Court Denizens” Special 4-Pack, which would typically mean we would review the pack as a whole.  However, immediately upon opening the delivery carton, my good friend Chris texted me this:

Is this the greatest day in the history of the Vintage Collection?  That’s not for me to say. But what I can say is that this is the greatest day in the history of the Vintage Collection.

So to give this moment its proper respect, I will be reviewing each of the 3 new figures from the pack separately, and then complete the tribute with an overview of the entire set, including the repacked Ree-Yees.  First up is VC286 Tessek.

I remember loving the Kenner Squid Head because it was a weird alien and it seemed to be a premium figure because of the luxurious soft goods robe and skirt.  Even as an idiot 10 year old, I saw that this one was a step above most of the rest, and seemed to signal some leap forward in action figure quality and technology.  I celebrated this epiphany by promptly losing all interest in Star Wars toys, and moving on to other things.  I never looked back, and today, I am a successful multi-trillionaire, revolutionizing our society by engineering a complete reversal of human-fueled climate change, establishing a global merit-based economy, eliminating poverty and food insecurity, eradicating racism, and doubling the average human life expectancy.  It’s been a fun ride.

In 2000, 17 years after the Kenner version, Hasbro released an update, giving the figure his canon name of Tessek.  The POTJ line was a wonderful time, with Hasbro releasing collector-oriented figures with details, articulation, and sculpting that hadn’t really been seen before in the line.  The Tessek figure was fairly well done, but still, that 1983 figure held up pretty well against it.  When you compare the two, as I mention in our review, the Kenner one has some merits that might exceed the upgrade.  Mostly, this would be about the soft goods cape and skirt, which were ditched in favor of sculpted plastic for 2000.  It’s actually debatable which figure is preferable between the two, the same characterization that which I would extend to EV-9D9, as the Kenner original had an articulated jaw that was lost in the POTF2 version.

While the POTJ version has been clinging to life as it stands in the deep background of our modern displays, it’s been showing its age of late.  I gave the figure a somewhat respectable 5/10 a few years ago.  95% of the time, I would take a debut character instead of an upgrade to one we already have, but once I saw what Hasbro was capable of when it upgraded Yak Face, I was on Team TVC Tessek.

And here we are, 23 years after the POTJ release, with VC286.  It’s almost as big of an upgrade as was the aforementioned Yak Face.  This begs the question, why wasn’t this one known more commonly as Squid Face, or the other as Yak Head?  The inconsistencies boggle the mind!  Anyway, this is a remarkable figure, and anyone who doubted the need for an upgrade (perhaps I fit into that category) should consider themselves slapped across the face with a fish.  This one blows away the POTJ figure, while paying proper homage to Kenner and looking like a sexy boss doing it. 

Tessek does re-use Cal Kestis’s legs, which just seems like a funny choice to me considering Hasbro could have used any existing legs, as they are hidden by the skirt.  Ol’ Squid Head pulls off the skinny jeans look pretty well.  The upper body is new, with the exception of Bib Fortuna’s arms (thanks to Tannish for pointing that out), including the head (despite having some pretty good options from previous figures).  The articulation is top notch, with a full suite of modern points, such as ball jointed wrists, dumbbell neck, and elbows - that might even flex to 45 degrees! - along with the best leg articulation, thanks to Mr. Kestis. 

The paint is well applied, with the head showing some nice details (although the coloring isn’t quite as I see on screen), and the waist band having a nice metallic sheen.  The soft goods skirt is well done, leaving enough room to allow for some nice action posing.  The cape is a great nod to the Kenner figure, and looks great.  Tessek comes with a pistol that he grips firmly.

While the skin coloring might be off a bit, it’s hard to ding this figure.  It’s well executed, has nearly flawless soft goods, and has Jedi-Level Articulation.  For the O96 crowd out there, you can check this one off the list.  It’s a huge upgrade, and a rare case (aside from the Mains) of me being glad Hasbro made the effort to replace an existing character in the line. 

This is a 10/10, and it’s only the third most exciting figure in the 4-pack!  Check back tomorrow…