Hey look, it’s Zett Jukassa!  So here’s the story, of a man named Brady.  Back when I did the Bail Organa review, I did a shot of the moment Kid Zett jumped out to fight the mighty 501st Legion.  It was a terrible shot for many reasons, not the least of which is that Bail is in the wrong outfit.  But the point is, that was on 5/15.  When it came time for me to photograph Jukassa himself, I couldn’t find him.  I looked “everywhere”, tearing apart shelves and bins of figures trying to find that little putz.  Then I did it again the next night, and still couldn’t find him.  A few days later I tried again, and it was the ol’ definition of insanity thing.  I realized that I had another Jett figure, which was the one that came with the Lucas family multipack.  And that would have been fine, since the figures are essentially identical.  But the problem was that his lightsaber was broken (damn removable blades and their little pins that snap off inside the hilt!). So I was screwed without the actual #52 figure.  Our whole ROTS retrospective was hanging in the balance.  Not only that, but an epic disaster was brewing, and Banthaskull’s very existence was threatened!

To be continued…!

...In the next paragraph!  So on Thursday of last week, I was sitting with my laptop at my temporary folding table in the middle of the South Star Wars Room, where I do most of the writing for this site, and I looked down at the figure bins under the table.  These consist of “expendable” figures that I will soon purge from my collection - usually when I have multiples that are now obsolete.  I had bins for all the different lines from POTF2 through ROTS (which is as far as I’ve gotten in my catalog project).  I had looked through the ROTS bin about 4 times just in case I had tossed Zett in there by accident, because I wasn’t intending to get rid of him.  I stared at the stack of shoebox-sized bins, carefully annotated with P-touch labels on each one:  “ROTS”, “SAGA”, “POTJ”, “EP1”.  The bottom three had lids that sealed them from the outside world and had been unopened for a few months at least, while the “ROTS” bin on top was wide open, which is why I thought I might have just absent-mindedly tossed Zett in there. 

Where’s Zett?

But then I looked further under the table, and there was a double-sized bin labeled “POTF2” in the darkness.  The bin is oversized and overflowing, because POTF2 figures suck (except EV-9D9, which is just fine) and I can’t get rid of them fast enough.  Because the bin is overflowing with terrible figures, there’s no lid. I hadn’t thought to even look, but I realized that if I did toss Zett into the ROTS bin, it was entirely possible that he could have spilled out and fallen into the POTF2 bin.  So I carefully pulled it out from under the table and into the light…

I’ve found him.  Repeat, I’ve found him.

I can only assume that he was disgusted with his terrible lot in life of hanging around with other terrible ROTS figures, so he hurled himself into the unknown below…only to find himself amongst the worst of the worst:  POTF2.  Joke’s on him!

Now, I mentioned that I found him Thursday.  In the weeks prior, I had been complaining constantly to Chris via text that I had lost Zett.  His reaction ranged from ignoring me completely to ignoring me completely.  But I knew that he was going to rue the day that I lost my Zett Jukassa figure.  So I didn’t bother telling him that I had found it.  (That’ll show him!)  In true Chris form, he then went public with my personal nightmare the very next day, as he mocked me with his sarcastic “Jukassa Watch” nonsense in his July 4th post.  But he clearly not only didn’t respect the hole that existed in my collection, he also underestimated the damage he was going to do to the Banthaskull Community by airing our dirty laundry.  The fallout was immediate, and it remains to be seen if we can get back on our feet and move forward.  So I decided I needed to end the charade, and so today I post the long-awaited ROTS III-52 Zett Jukassa figure review.

Of course, as terrible as this whole situation was, it pales in comparison to my Hrcek Kal Fas Debacle of the Aughts.

Anyway, that was exhausting, but it’s all better than the figure.  Weak sculpt, poor articulation, poor interaction with the lightsaber…  In the end, it’s one of those, “I’m glad they made him, but…” figures.  If you have extras (as I apparently do), he’s good in the background of the Jedi Temple.

Oh yeah - regarding that platform scene in ROTS, where exactly does Zett Jukassa come from?  He kind of just pops out of thin air, like he’s in a Harry Potter movie or something.  Seriously, it’s weird.  Try watching it frame by frame.

It doesn’t make sense.  And neither does this review.

5 Stars
5/10 Banthaskulls.