Oh, this silly, silly man.  I’m talking both about the author of this review and the figure itself.  The figure, of course, is the first real attempt at a modern Stormtrooper.  Prior to its release in 1999, there were two 3.75”/4” Stormtroopers in existence.  The first was the vintage Kenner Stormtrooper from 1978.  The second was the ridiculous He-Man POTF2 Stormtrooper in 1995, which we WILL review some day much to Mr. Nomadscout’s chagrin.  He thinks reviewing these old and obsolete figures is nonsense.  He’s just ants at a picnic, but I digress.  [Editor’s Note:  I don’t think reviewing obsolete figures is nonsense.  I think ME reviewing an obsolete Stormtrooper is nonsense.]  Eventually Hasbro decided to get serious with their Stormtrooper game and announced this gorgeous-at-the-time CommTech Stormtrooper.  It nearly broke me as we were hit with a double whammy.  First we would have to army build this figure at the new $7 CommTech price, which was 40% higher than the $5 we were accustomed to from the year before.  Second, circumstances would make these Original Trilogy CommTech figures difficult to find.  At least at first, that is.  I recall getting six Stormtroopers the first time I found them in a store, and then never saw another one after that.  At least not for a while, that is. 

Little did we know, the supply/production side of the equation was not the problem.  Plenty of the Original Trilogy CommTech figures were made and shipped to warehouses.  They just weren’t making it to the retail floors.  This is because they were shipping alongside the later waves of the Episode I CommTech line.  They were effectively choked out during their intended retail window.  This could have been because of a few reasons.  Perhaps retailers erred on the side of the new media; or they had grown weary of all things CommTech by that point; or they simply had too much left over Episode I product.  It’s probably some combination of all three.  This created a scenario similar to that classic M. Night Shyamalan movie, Signs, that everyone loves.  [Editor’s Note:  This will be Chris’s final day at Bantha Skull.  We thank him for his service.]  Those first few CommTech Stormies that made it out were just the expeditionary force probing us for our weaknesses.  Unbeknownst to us, a massive invasion force was lurking behind the scenes waiting to explode on the scene, and it did as part of the event we affectionately call The Great Toys R Us POTF2 Clearance of 2000.  Or TGTRUPOTF2C2K if brevity is your thing. 

Ever since I was kid, I had it in my mind that I wanted 100 Stormtroopers.  Why?  Because I was convinced there were “like a hundred” Stormtroopers HERE.  I think I might have gotten all the way to an army of six as a kid.  So when word broke that CommTech Stormtroopers were showing up en mass at the Toys R Us clearance FOR TWO DOLLARS, I lost it.  I would say I became obsessed, but being obsessed was already one of my default states.  This made me manically obsessed and I was literally making excuses to leave work early to go check Toys R Us.  It felt like weeks of nothing, and not all Toys R Us stores were getting the same clearance items, so I started to worry that it was going be like Gretchen Wieners trying to get “fetch” to catch on.  It wasn’t going to happen.  Are you ready for the “but”?  Here it is:  But then I walked in one early afternoon and found a massive wire bin filled with the OT CommTech figures.  My heart raced and I started filling a shopping cart as fast as I could.  I was so in the moment and in the zone that witnesses insist I momentarily transformed into a beautiful shimmering version of my Patronus.  I didn’t get to my ideal 100, but not because I couldn’t have.  I’m pretty sure I could have.  I honestly think it was embarrassment that stopped me.  I think I ended up with around fifty (plus ten or so other CommTech figures).  Because someone buying 60 figures is so much better adjusted than someone buying 100.  Thank God that bit of self consciousness crept it.  I had so many figures that I tired of opening them.  In fact, I just opened that yellowed sample above today for this review.  It was my last remaining CommTech Stormtrooper from that one fateful day in 2000. I clearly like the idea of 100 Stormtroopers more than actually owning 100 Stormtroopers.

Of course the figure itself is just as ridiculous as I was in trying to secure a hoard of them.  It has just enough articulation to be frustrating.  It has ball jointed shoulders coupled with swivel elbows, but not the cheap kind that pop off.  The elbow joints are very secure.  It has hinged knees, but no ankles, and it has an honest-to-goodness ball jointed neck.  Not a ball and socket neck that would become the norm for years, but a true ball joint.  And all of this ground breaking articulation allows you to do exactly jack squat.  It’s still a POTF2 figure, and it reminds you of that at every turn.  It can’t perform a two handed weapon grip, but it does a two handed weapon grip impersonation.  It has classic POTF2 c-grip hands, but lacks articulated wrists.  So as you engage the swivel elbow to bring the left hand toward the rifle, it causes the grip of the hand to be pointing straight at the ground.  FANTASTIC!  The ginormous feet are sculpted at odd angles and degrees of rotation, so the only purpose of the articulated knees is to obey the sculpted orientation of the feet.  OUTSTANDING!  The white pouches that are supposed to attach to the belt to cover the gap in the thigh armor are actually sculpted to the upper thigh body suit.  Okay, that was a pretty innovative attempt at accuracy for the time.  The best part is that if you soggy up your figure with cold water, you get to see a blast mark for 1/16th of a second. 

Late in the photography process, I realized the articulation would allow you to do one distinct pose.  He makes a pretty good DLT-19 passer-outter-guy as captured in the last pic.  It’s probably his punishment for the poor upkeep of his armor. I have the status of the figure listed as “Other Value” because of the included weapons rack.  That’s a decent inclusion.  Also, I didn’t notice until this review that the DLT-19 heavy blaster rifle has a trigger guard.  Later releases of similar accessories do not.  Of course, the figure does not include the more familiar E-11 Stormtrooper rifle.  I’ll give this a score of 3 out of 10 for these reasons.