The Last 17: Do We Have An R2-D2 With Pop-Up Lightsaber?

 
Kenner Name: Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2) with pop-up Lightsaber

Modern Name: R2-D2

Vintage Release: POTF 92-Back (1985) [No. 93720]

Does It Exist In The Modern Line: YES

Does It Exist In The Vintage Collection: DEBATABLE

Does It Exist In The Vintage Collection On Its Debut Card: NO

Latest Modern Release: The Vintage Collection (2010)

Is The Modern Release Good Enough: NO

Review: VC25 - R2-D2


This one is going to be a journey, but I want to start out with my personal journey with respect to 1985's POTF R2-D2 with pop-up lightsaber. I've told this story several times, but I like reminiscing AND IT'S STILL MY BIRTHDAY WEEK, so you will hear it again. Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2) with pop-up lightsaber is the only POTF figure that I owned as a kid, but it was well after I was done playing with Star Wars toys. The fact that the toys were in my past was not my decision. My parents made that call for me. With the trilogy wrapped, they decided that my Star Wars days were over in 1983 (but I did get 1984's Wicket somehow). I was bullied at school for playing with Star Wars toys. It wasn't "cool". I'm sure that factored heavily into their calculus. But I think it's funnier to say that they feared me collecting Star Wars figures in perpetuity. LOOK AT ME NOW, MA!

So I was a year out of the loop when POTF came out. One day, my neighbor told me about the awesome new figures he saw at the store that came with coins. I had to check it out. As luck would have it, the best department store in the area was also the best toy store (Spag's). So I tagged along with my dad when he needed to buy a single screw or something, and absconded to the toy section. My parents might have stopped buying me Star Wars figures, but I was armed with paper route money. I checked the card back to see what was available. I really wanted the Luke Stormtrooper, but he was nowhere to be found. I settled on the pop-up saber R2. I opened the figure, but with no intent to play with it. I just wanted to display it, so I consider it the first figure I ever bought as a collector. As a postscript to this story, I donated all of my childhood Star Wars toys to Goodwill save for this POTF R2. I keep it in a compartment in the roll top desk in my bedroom. When I started collecting again in 1995, I was shocked to find out it was a mini-grail. The next time I went home on leave, I couldn't wait to grab this pristine, un-played with example. To my dismay, my mother had thrown it out. LOOK AT ME NOW, MA!

Okay, enough about me indulging my personal collecting story. Let's get to the figure. As we all know, in the movie, R2 launches Luke's unlit saber hilt to him as he triply lindies his way back onto the deck of the prisoner skiff. Upon catching it, Luke pauses momentarily as if to say:


Obviously, launching something as small as a hilt would be a choking hazard, so Kenner opted for this R2 to launch a nonsensical lit saber. Only the stubby astromech drum could never accommodate a full length saber. So they went with a light-shillelagh complete with a bulbous tip to facilitate the "pop-up" mechanism. It's all quite silly. In 1998 during the lead-up to Episode I, the Kenner division of Hasbro decided to attempt another saber launching R2. This time they would correct the comical stubby saber. Surely thirteen years of action figure technology could solve this dilemma. It didn't, and Kenner out-sillied themselves with the Flashback R2-D2:


Don't you dare look away. Look at it. LOOK AT IT! That happened. That actually happened. Note to the comment section: all of the third leg jokes were already made twenty seven years ago. When the Vintage Collection launched twelve years later in 2010, Hasbro would attempt the figure again. Kinda. Sorta. The figure we now know as "Bar-2-D2" was an attempt to be a multitool R2-D2 which is somewhat befitting the character. It's a bartender R2-D2. It's a manipulator arm R2-D2. It's a "sensor scope" (really periscope) R2-D2. Finally, it's a saber-launching R2-D2. The problem is that it doesn't fully succeed in any of these missions. It misses in some way on all of them. It's the jack of all R2's, master of none. I'm not going to fault the designer for this at all. In fact, the ambition is heroic. I merely have to acknowledge that the landing was missed.

With respect to the Last 17, the card is also a big issue. It shows that Hasbro felt VC25's role was primarily as Jabba's bartender droid:


That film out in pill color in no way match the O96 card:


This introduces a point where I could be conflicted. That film out is somewhat anachronistic. It's a third act scene for a first act figure. If we're being accurate, the film out should probably use something like this to place the figure in its proper context:


As you know, I'm all about correcting Kenner mistakes, so you would think I would say that Hasbro should update the film out. But I say no. I reconcile this contradiction by saying it's not a "mistake". It's artistic license. While the figure is from the Sail Barge, the Endor bunker film out is simply more aesthetically pleasing. Hasbro should give us an all new saber launching R2 and give it to us on a replica of the POTF card complete with coin. We need a new astromech sculpt, and I'm somewhat in disbelief that Hasbro hasn't given us one yet considering there near limitless opportunity for reuse. The massively inaccurate BAD isn't good enough. If you disagree, I will sick Randy on you, and believe me, brother, you can't handle that smoke.

I need to do a lengthy postscript to this lengthy article. I don't begrudge my parent for taking Star Wars toys away from me. They were well intentioned. I had a good childhood. I later found out that some of kids that bullied me were massive Star Wars fans themselves. That always seem to be the way, doesn't it. This article has taken me three hours and counting to put together after a lengthy work day, but I don't mind at all because the subject inspires me. It's true what they say. If you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life. Finally, I'm sorry for dropping "brother" on you in the above paragraph. I'm writing this article while watching the Bruins game, and Ric Flair CarShield commercials have been running during every break.

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