Bantha Skull Strikes Back: The Emperor

He’s the only character in the entire Star Wars saga to be directly referenced in the title of one of the movies (The Phantom Menace) since Luke Skywalker was the New Hope. He’s one of the best villains in film, who is so seethingly evil and deliciously scheming. He’s the guy most responsible for giving us arguably the greatest cinematic bad guy, Darth Vader. In fact, every Star Wars villain is pretty much a result of this guy. He faced down Master Yoda, Luke Skywalker, AND Samuel Jackson. Decide for yourself which is the most impressive, but of course we’re speaking of Emperor Palpatine, aka Darth Sidious.

So, with all that in mind, how come after 13 years of action figures, we’ve yet to really get a definitive version of this character from his ultimate appearance in Episode 6, Return of the Jedi?

Let’s go through the offerings from Hasbro thus far:

-1997 gave us the basic carded Emperor Palpatine. He was really good, at the time. But all we had to compare him to was the old Kenner figure from 1983 (remember when they used to mail us free figures for trading in proofs of purchase? Man...) ultimately though, this figure would be embarassed to be standing on your shelf next to the Evolutions Darth Vader or the Legacy Luke Skywalker. Unfortunately, he’s also still the best Hasbro has offered.

-That year we also got the Electronic FX version. Pretty much the same figure, as far as quality is concerned. But he does come with a cool base and lightning bolts!

-The last one we got in 1997 was again the same quality, but he was seated in his throne. He has a horrible spinal issue, but still has a cool chair! This remains the only Emperor that I display, but I assure you that it’s only from a severe lack of
options.

-1999 saw the release of all the Episode 1 figures, among them Darth Sidious. Now, for the layman, he is a pretty good substitute for a ROTJ Emperor figure. But if you really know the character, you wouldn’t dare put him up in your Throne Room diorama.

-No new Emperor figures until 2003, and man did they give us a lemon. The best part of this figure is his cane. His face looks constipated, and his legs look like they’re buckling under the weight of his massive hood. He also looks like a kid wearing the Emperor’s cloak, since the hood is clearly not resting on his head at all. It’s more just floating up over him. Horrible sculpt that would have been ripped apart if submitted in a fan-made custom contest. Of course this is the version they released a few more times. The latest was in 2006 with the Saga Collection.

-In 2005, Hasbro started releasing the Evolution sets. One was for the Sith, with Darth Maul, Tyranus, and Sidious. He’s actually called Emperor Palpatine, but is representing the character as he appeared in Episode 3. Can’t say many bad things about this figure, but he is certainly no ROTJ Emperor. Great articulation, accessories are cool, and the face is pretty awesome and scary, even if he doesn’t really make it in the film. Actually, it looks like Palps is still pushing to overcome that constipation problem he developed in 2003. Still...can’t sit him on a throne and have him taunt young Skywalker while his dad watches.

So, basically we’re left with very little from Hasbro that will really work. You can have an outdated sculpt with the chair, a weird and completely non-threatening old man with an oversized hoodie, or try to substitute a figure meant for another film. My skeptical side tells me that Hasbro builds in room for improvement with each release of a core character so that there is justification to purchase the same character in a future release. If that is the case, I hope our favorite license holder realizes that once you come up with a definitive sculpt, we’ll purchase it over and over given the chance. Heck, we’re chomping at the bit to buy more VOTC Solos, which might be fodder for a future issue of Strikes Back.

But, before you give up hope, I have found a wonderful alternative. While Hasbro has completely dropped the ball on this incredibly necessary figure, Hallmark is offering a great figurine in the form of a Holiday ornament.

Each year Hallmark puts out a Star Wars ornaments, and 2008 is dedicated to a set to commemorate the 25th anniversary of Return of the Jedi’s theatrical release. Luke’s second duel with Vader, the Imperial Shuttle (with folding wings), and lastly...the Emperor seated in his throne. Great sculpt on the face, robes, and chair. He’s even got that languid slouch he is doing for most scenes in that movie. And the best part is he’s almost to scale with your favorite Hasbro 3 3/4 inch figures! No, he’s not posable at all, but come on, how much action do you need from this figure?

We all know that Hasbro will eventually get around to an ultimate sculpt of this figure. Probably after several stutter stops, but still. Until then though, why not go over to the Hallmark website, or even a store location, and check this ornament out for yourself. If you’re desperate for a truly great version of Emperor Palpatine, I assure you that you’ll be popping out that credit card as soon as you see it in person.

Hallmark’s Emperor Palpatine Keepsake Ornament

Edit from Chris: Hasbro, please stop dragging your feet on some of these core characters.

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